{Bit-ter-sweet} Producing or expressing a mixture of pain and pleasure.
We've spent these last 3 days in New York, visiting Jim (Grandpa J), sitting with him, talking, trying to keep him comfortable, planning the logistics for the things we wish we didn't have to plan, and trying to make the best and most of this time because we are all together so rarely.
It's very difficult to think that this might be the last time we are here to visit him. But it's almost more difficult to think that he'll be in this state much longer - unable to move and get around as he's used to doing. The immobility is driving him nuts. He's antsy. He's never been one to just sit...unless it's with a good book.
My stomach is in knots thinking that we'll say goodbye this afternoon. And a long drive home with not much to distract the mind (except for fighting kids).
I look at this picture and I think of the lyrics to the Pearl Jam song Just Breathe:
Yes, I understand that every life must end,
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go,
Oh I'm a lucky man, to count on both hands
the ones I love,
Some folks just have one,
others, they've got none...
By Pearl Jam's standards...he's a lucky man and then some...
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