Video and picture links

Video of Ella ice skating.

and from the Globetrotters:

And photo links from our recent fun:
Si's birthday...


Ice skating:


Zoo lights:

Keeping up With the Youngers

It seems that we're trying to pack all kinds of fun stuff into this Christmas break!  The week before Christmas was busy of course, just because it's the week before Christmas and there was plenty of shopping and wrapping to do.  We also got to see the Balletmet Nutcracker at the Ohio Theater on the 22nd.  I had planned to buy tickets but kept putting it off and then - I won tickets from KidsLinked.com!!!   I was so excited - they gave us 5 tickets so that our family could all go.  The only downside was that it was pure chaos picking them up at Will Call!

Since this is one of the few times that we were all gussied up, I set up the tripod and managed to get a family photo before we headed out.

I LOVE the Ohio Theater!  Ella loved it too - she said "it's SO fancy!!"

The kids really enjoyed the performance - well, Mason maybe not so much...I only saw his eyes open for about 10 minutes of the show, but Ella and Silas enjoyed most of it.  Si got a little bored at the end and it was a late evening.  All in all, a great family evening!

Christmas Eve was packed with last minute preparations, our usual Christmas Eve festivities (a drink or two and wrapping!) and making everything perfect for Santa's arrival. Cookies and milk for Santa, carrots and yummies for the reindeer.  The house finally looked magical by about midnight!

Christmas morning, Ella was the first to wake us up at 8:20am.  She ran into our room asking if she could wake up the boys.  She ran to Si's room first.  He JUMPED up on his bed, yelling "Oh My Gosh, Oh my GOSH!!!  I forgot that it's Christmas!!!!"  That woke Mason up and down the stairs we went. 

I was still pretty sleepy and did not get a very good or focused picture of the kids on Christmas morning.
Ella was thrilled that Santa brought her a Squier Mini guitar, but Silas cried when he didn't get the remote control gorilla that he'd apparently been hoping for. Santa must not have known...Santa did bring the family a nice new big TV to go with our new digital cable, so it's kinda fun to watch TV now!

I think Mason looked pretty dapper in his Christmas t-shirt :)

I got my birthday drink hour in with Jodi and Joyce and then, after spending Christmas evening with the family at Mom's and Dad's (where Tracy gave me a wine glass bigger than my head!), we got up on the 26th and celebrated some more...

We had a Campbell Christmas party and then came home to open Si's birthday presents and have some cake and ice cream!

I still can't believe that my little man is 5 years old!  Makes me sad that he's getting so grown up!

When we were in New York, the kids were disappointed when we didn't have time to go ice skating, so we promised to take them over Christmas break.  Yesterday, we did just that - we went to the Chiller and had some ice skating fun!  It had been at least 20+ years since either Justin or I had been on ice skates, and this was the first time for Ella and Silas.  They did a really great job! 

We had a super fun time and plan to go back again soon.  Next time maybe we can drag Mason with us...though it looked like the older kids were having a harder time on the ice than the young ones.  I've never seen so many gawky arms and legs go flying as when the teenage boys fell down.  Ella had new jean with a fleece lining and boy, those came in handy for ice skating and falling down - I was jealous (though, happily, I did not fall :)

Tonight we are going to see the Harlem Globetrotters and tomorrow night, the Zoo Lights (if the weather cooperates).  Need to get the Christmas decorations down, go to some New Year's Eve parties and then - Phew! - hopefully sit and do nothing (accept remember to pick up Aunt Amanda at the airport) on New Year's day!

Happy Birthday Dear Silas!

"If John Lennon was right that life is what happens when you're making other plans, parenthood is what happens when everything is flipped over and spilling everywhere and you can't find a towel or a sponge or your "inside" voice."    ~Kelly Corrigan (Lift) 

{Chaos: a state of utter confusion or disorder; a total lack of organization or order.}

December 26th, 2005 - The day of your arrival, in the middle of what should have been the post-Christmas clean-up - and it's been pure chaos ever since!

12/26/2005

 

2006

2007

2008

 

 2009

 2010

It's so hard to believe that 5 years have gone by so quickly!  I feel like we just brought this tiny babe home, swaddled and laying in a basket in the family room, being slathered with a million kisses from big brother and especially big sister.  

Our happy-go-lucky Smiley Siley has turned into a "big kid" that asks a million questions, makes the funniest comments, possesses a stubbornness of steel and an infectious laugh that gets us all giggling with you.   I want to keep you my baby forever.  

Happy Birthday Siley J - we love you so very much!!!

Fa La La La La

We are busy little Christmas bees around here.  Sometime over the last week, the Christmas tree lost its top strand of lights...at first a few lights went out and then by mid-week, the whole top strand was gone.  Justin was content to let it be but it bummed me out every time I would look at the tree.  So yesterday we took everything off the top half of the tree, pulled off the old lights, put on new lights, got covered in tree sap and then put everything back on.  In the process, we discovered that the tree was not very sturdy in the stand.  Justin tried to tightened it up but it kept leaning like crazy...enter fishing line tied to the curtain hook and curio drawer knob.  Voila - a perfectly straight, fully lit Christmas tree!

We have an official name for Mr. Elf.  The kids really, really want to call him Buddy.  So Buddy is his nickname.  I've named him Felix Navidad because I think that is much more clever than Buddy.  So I call him Felix, they call him Buddy.  This Elf thing is a lot of work!  I woke up to 5 post-it notes worth of questions the first night he was with us, and 3 the next night. "Can I bring you someplace on Christmas Day?  Just this one time?  Pleas pleas pleas" "How do you get down when I can't reech you?" Felix/Buddy didn't  answer the 2nd round very promptly so she added "Y did you not write back on my notes??"

I bet Felix/Buddy at no clue he was getting into such a high maintenance situation when he came a-knockin'.

We had some additional name suggestions from an "anonymous" source:

Snitch, Quisling, Willard - Famous Movie Rat, Ben ( Sequel to Willard), Elfis, Finkus (Fink on Us), Squealer,  Weasel.  I do think Squealer is kinda festive.

We also made some Christmas cookies yesterday.  The kids iced and decorated some for Santa and I made some very yummy chocolate crinkle cookies...while we watched Elf (as you can see from the TV!).

We wish that we could be with ALL the family at Christmas - but we'll be thinking about you all - near and far - and wishing you a blessed and magical Merry Christmas!

I Gave In...

...to peer pressure.  I was swayed to the "Elf on a Shelf" darkside!

He left this little note:

December 2010

Dear Mason, Ella and Silas:

Santa received a letter from Ella requesting an Elf for your family.  I am the Elf that Santa is sending to be with your family for Christmas each year.  I am excited to meet you!

Each day, I watch to be sure you are doing your very best to be good, and then I go to the North Pole and report back to Santa each night.  I will come back to be with you again each morning.

Do your very best to be good – I hate giving Santa bad news!

With Christmas Cheer,

Your Elf

P.S. – please name me soon!

Let's hope I don't regret this!!

An Insight or Two

#1 - I am not a runner.  I ran today at the Y.  And just to make things clear; I ran and no one was chasing me with a machete. It makes me hurt. My knees, my hips.  But Justin and I are going to participate in the Warrior Dash in June and worse than the pain of my knees and hips hurting, would be the humiliation of falling on my face and being carried off the course by Justin or some other macho men.  So run and get into shape I must.

#2 - We are supreme packrats.  I started my day by spending 1.5 hours in Ella's room.  I made a small dent in the mess.  I bagged up clothes, toys, garbage (broken and missing part toys) and I am one of those people that has to push myself with each item not to say "well, we might need this if Mercury crosses Mars on the 10th day of the 8th month at 2:32 AM. Then what will we do?!".  After Ella's room I spent another 1.5 hours in the basement trying to make some headway with the 93 bags of kids clothes that we have down there.  All in all, I made good progress and it feels good to purge!!

 #3 - It takes me double the time to get "gussied up" now that I am in my 40s. Not sure if it's that my face really requires more work, or I just care more about how I look when it's time to make the effort.  Or maybe it's really just the fact that I usually lock myself in my room with a glass of wine when it's time to get ready to go out, which makes it more enticing to take longer...

 #4 - My husband can play the part of empathic when he needs to. I never let Justin forget that he once scored a (big fat ZERO) in Empathy on a personality test that he took in college.  ZIP.  NADA. NOTHING.  Today in all the cleaning, I about cut my finger off in the basement.  Even though that is something that he does at least twice a week on a job, he very kindly got a band-aid and wrapped it around my finger, cutting off the circulation and turning my finger purple.  But the blood stopped and he fed me an Advil and I felt better.  I think he should have scored at least a 2 on that test.

What's been Going On?

So, what have we been up to since we got back?  A lot of picking up around the house and trying to get ready for Christmas!!  We spent 17 of 33 days in New York and Christmas has completely ambushed us!

Last weekend Ella and I went to a Girl Scout mom/daughter gala.  It was a "formal" and I had nothing to wear (unless you count my wedding dress) so I ran to the consignment shop and got this dress that maybe someday I'll get to wear again. We had a good time eating cookies (girl scout of course), drinking tea and dancing!

We also went and got our Christmas tree last weekend.  It's not romantic or pretty but we go to Lowe's and get the tree, pay our $15 and get down to the business of getting it trimmed while sipping on eggnog. 

It was getting pretty snowy and bad out when we went to get the tree and we saw this car go off of the road...

oopsie!

I love the shape of the tree - quite lovely for $15!  I think we broke the record for how fast we threw the ornaments on this year.

We've been getting a ridiculous amount of snow and frigid temps (in the single digits) for the last week. Crazy for this time of year!  We've been holing up inside a lot excect for when we MUST go out. Or to play in the snow a little bit.

This is the kind of weather we typically get in February...not December!  I hope that after Christmas we have a very mild winter!!

It's difficult to get into the Christmas spirit this year - I think the kids are doing okay...they are very focused on the presents and Santa of course.  Silas has been coming up and giving random hugs, which I love. Justin and I have been in "be productive" mode.  Getting lots of stuff crossed off our list. Justin is taking time off now until the new year to work on admin for the business.  I am still trying to get caught up from being out so much between surgery and NY trips.  I really just want to get to 2011 and pray for a better year.  And a year for cleaning out the basement!  After the last few weeks, that has become a #1 priority!!

I hope that we can find a way to remember Grandpa J in each holiday - and during those times that he would have spent with us.  It's so important to me that the kids remember as much as possible - his quirkiness, his visits, his birthday calls, the cartoon wrapped gifts.
We have some fun parties to look forward to, our annual Christmas Eve of wrapping and drinking and a New Year's Eve with friends.  Hopefully that will help get us more in the holiday mood!

Memorial Services and Scattering of Ashes

We spent last Saturday through Wednesday in New York, spending time with the family, planning and attending the memorial services and working on cleaning out the cabin (sadly). An incredibly sad, emotional time all around, but there was a lot of love and laughter flowing too. The services were held at the new American Legion in T-burg (because Jim said there would be plenty of parking).  There were pizzas, cheese and veggie platters - his favorites.
There was a table displaying his Hawaiian shirt, a favorite photo, his ashes, the family Bible, his (chiropractic) activator and of course...his bright orange Crocs.

Many Hawaiian shirts were worn by friends and family - as he would have loved!

Amanda and Aunt Wendy made 4 large photo boards that told the story of his life - they did a fantastic job. It was wonderful to see him from an infant to his last days.  Pictures that he had wanted taken with each of the grandchildren when we were there at the beginning of November, photos of him at our weddings, holding the infant grandkids, as a young professional (in his corduroy suit with vest :) , making his funny faces...

Jim had chosen 2 ministers that he wanted to participate in the services.  They knew him well and really personalized their words for him, talked of his spirituality, how he loved to ask questions and of their conversations with him up to the end.  He wasn't afraid of death.

Uncle Bill spoke for the family, told some very amusing stories to verify just how ornery Jim was (Uncle Bill and Jim were college roommates and have been the best of friends for 42 years). Even as recently as several years ago, Jim was pulling pranks that, when didn't go quite as planned, had law enforcement involved :)

The most moving eulogy was given by Shawn, and by "moving", I mean "inducing gut wrenching sobs".  He very eloquently (between his own sobs) told of the father he knew, the incredible work ethic that Jim had (as witnessed not just by his patients, but by us "kids" that would ask him to come and help with home projects, which he'd work relentlessly on until the job was done) and most importantly, the grandfather that our children knew.  When Shawn had asked his dad about any regrets in life - Jim's only is that he won't be there for all the special events in the kids' lives - their graduations, weddings, birthdays, the visits that we've come to look forward to and love.  During our last visit at hospice over Thanksgiving, I was standing outside Grandpa J's room as he was saying goodbye to the OH and RI grandkids - I watched as he reached up and touched each of them on the side of the face as his goodbye, since he no longer had a voice. He was so proud of his kids and their families, just ask any one of his patients -  at the services, they knew the grandkids by face and name because of all the photos plastered at the office and how much he talked about them.

The grandkids each placed a single yellow rose on Grandpa J's shirt.

We sang a couple (poorly executed) hymns (I think he would have found it amusing just how poorly we sing!) and at his request, I'm Coming Home from the Rocky Horror Picture Show was played.  When asked if anyone had something that they would like to say, neighbors, friends and patients stood and spoke - many, many of them in fact.  They shared funny stories, stories that attested to his supreme dedication to his patients...and many stories about his Hawaiian shirts and Dollar Store purchases (you probably don't have any idea how cheap he was unless you have tried to wash your hair with his watered down Sauve shampoo). I think that (for once) he would have been speechless if he had heard the outpouring of love and the memories shared.

After the services, we all went to one of his favorite restaurants - Jerlando's.  Well known for their delicious garlic knots!

On Monday, we all met at the cabin and had a family "memorial".  We took Jim's ashes and (in temps of about 7 degrees with the windchill!) scattered them around his property. We each told a memory or story as we took turns ladling the ashes out and tossing them. Unfortunately, due to the wind and bad aim...some of the kids ended up wearing Grandpa J ashes in their hoods, hair, stuck to snow covered knees...

We walked down by the pond...

 and scattered in and around...

   Next, his beloved barn...

And throughout his apple and fruit trees...

 And in the pasture with Rosie and the goats...

And again, what a mixture of laughter and tears.  So many funny stories mixed with the tangible void that his absence will leave.

It was so hard to drive away on Wednesday, to leave the family, the cabin that we may never see again. The drive home was long and snowy and long (did I mention LONG?).
Unwinding when we were finally home, I started looking at some of the pictures of our family, which he had in his office. Stuck in between 2 of the pictures was a sheet of paper that had been faxed to him recently.  It read:

View me no more in Sorrow

Seek me no more in Grief

I'll come to you on the 'morrow

And bring your heart relief.

Walk with me past the sunset;

Fly with me to the moon.

Hand in hand through the starlight,

Comfort shall come to you soon.

I'm leaving to dance with the angels;

My time for this pain is at end.

I'll meet you again by the Rainbow.

From Heaven to you it shall bend.

My heart never knew such compassion,

But pity no more should you waste...

For brilliant tomorrows await me -

In angels sweet arms I've been placed.

~

Rest in Peace Grandpa J - and may your spirit carry on with us every day...

Crazy Kids

Me: what are you doing? 

Silas: Dancing to the music in my head. 

Me: what music in your head? 

Silas: Brass Monkey, that funky monkey.

 ____

Ella had a school citizenship project.  This was her final project (to give examples of how to be a good citizen.)

 

Patriotic is my favorite :)  It looks like we've got our work cut out for us in the spelling department!  

Obituary and Goldfish

James B. Juenger

Dr. James B. Juenger, 60, passed away on November 30, 2010 after a one-year battle with cancer. Born on July 15, 1950 to the late Iva and Herbert Juenger of Cornwall, NY, Dr. Juenger graduated from Cornell University and Logan Chiropractic College (St. Louis, MO). He opened Cayuga Chiropractic Offices in 1978 in Trumansburg where his office staff and many loyal patients became part of his local family over the past 32 years. James is survived by children, Shawn (Abby), Justin (Christa), Amanda, Emily Bennett (William) and Brian; brothers, Jerry and Jeffrey (Wendy); niece, Kirstie; and nine grandchildren (Mason, Trent, Ella, Molly, Myles, Silas, William, James and Hudson) who will all miss him so much. The family will be present to receive friends from 1:00 to 4:00 p.m. on Sunday, December 5, 2010, at the American Legion Post 770, 4431 Seneca Road, Trumansburg. A Memorial Service will be held at 2:00 p.m. at the American Legion on Sunday, December 5. In lieu of flowers, kindly consider a donation in James' memory to Hospicare of Tompkins County, 172 East King Road, Ithaca, NY 14850 or to the Trumansburg Food Pantry, PO Box 162, Trumansburg, NY 14886. For additional information, kindly contact the funeral home at 1-888-534-5446 or www.ness-sibley.com.
#

Even though the last year sapped Jim of his energy, his hair, his strength and that booming voice - I always picture him in my mind like he looks above. Strong and lively, fun and hardworking.  He would come out for a visit and go like a workhorse all day long, especially when we built our first house and had SOOO many projects.   I see us sitting on the deck, reading a book or the newspaper; or enjoying one of our many impromptu beer or wine tastings. Or him tucked into a comfy corner, sipping a glass of wine or Bailey's and reading, reading, reading.

Silas came downstairs crying last night after we tucked him into bed.  I asked him what was wrong.  He said, "I miss Grandpa so much."  It broke my heart.  The worst of this for me is that they won't have their Grandpa J, and that he won't get to be there for all those special times. 

I told Silas, "well, maybe it will help us feel better if we think that we have a special angel in heaven now". 

"Grandpa's an angel now?" he asked. 

"Maybe, I guess if he wants to be."

"No, Grandpa would want to be a goldfish!"

That made me laugh - yes, Grandpa wouldn't want to be a regular old angel - he would definitely go with something more unconventional!  If nothing else, he's the angel wearing the Hawaiian shirt and blinding orange Crocs!

It Really Just Sucks.

I know he's not really gone, she said, but the world still feels smaller to me today. {story people}

(Grandpa J and Ella - 2003)

James B. Juenger

7/15/1950 - 11/30/2010

The Lord bless you and keep you,
The Lord lift His countenance upon you,
And give you peace, and give you peace,
The Lord make His face to shine upon you,
And be gracious unto you, be gracious,
The Lord be gracious, gracious unto you.
Amen.

Happy Thanksgiving and Simple Blessings

She said she usually cried at least once each day not because she was sad, but because the world was so beautiful & life was so short. {story people} 

9AM:
Thanksgiving this year is quite a bit different for us. We usually host at our house with my entire family and Grandpa J and Amanda come to OH to join us.  The morning usually starts with Justin getting the turkey prepped and in the oven while I begin the frantic cleaning and pick-up, making last minute side dishes and trying to get the kids interested in watching the Macy's Day parade (they always get bored).
This year, we're in New York. We are spending it with 99% of the family (we're missing the AZ Youngers).  We will cook the meal at the cabin and then take it to the hospice house so that we can spend the day with Jim. The list of what we are thankful for really takes new meaning. There is a sign over a doorway in the house that we are staying in that reads "Simple Blessings"....like the big, fat snow flakes that fell this morning before eventually turning into rain. 

11PM:
The best blessing of the day was seeing Jim smile ear to ear, over something funny when several of us were talking.  I have not seen that smile in months.  I wish I could freeze it in time.  The day was wonderful - chaotic and fun.  The folks at the hospice house were wonderful.  Warm and accommodating of us people invading the space. They had everything set up and waiting.  We made SO much food we could have easily taken care of about 30 more people. The cousins had a ball together, everyone got to go in and spend time in Grandpa J's room.  He must be thoroughly exhausted after all the visiting yesterday and today.
I love the fleeting and unassuming moments - that smile, overhearing the conversation of 2 preschoolers and their take on life, the coziness of being inside now while the sleet/rain is pounding away outside. I love that even in a time of impending grief, that we can laugh, enjoy being together and have fun.
I'm happy that Mas got to show his grandpa his class ring that we picked up on Monday.  He had Jim's "Grandpa J" signature inscribed on the inside of the ring (from his last birthday card). 

From my favorite poet:

Thanksgiving - by Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1896)

We walk on starry fields of white
   And do not see the daisies;
For blessings common in our sight
   We rarely offer praises.
We sigh for some supreme delight
   To crown our lives with splendor,
And quite ignore our daily store
   Of pleasures sweet and tender.

Our cares are bold and push their way
   Upon our thought and feeling.
They hang about us all the day,
   Our time from pleasure stealing.
So unobtrusive many a joy
   We pass by and forget it,
But worry strives to own our lives
   And conquers if we let it.

There’s not a day in all the year
   But holds some hidden pleasure,
And looking back, joys oft appear
   To brim the past’s wide measure.
But blessings are like friends I hold,
   Who love and labor near us.
We ought to raise our notes of praise
   While living hearts can hear us.

Full many a blessing wears the guise
   Of worry or of trouble.
Farseeing is the soul and wise
   Who knows the mask is double.
But he who has the faith and strength
   To thank his God for sorrow
Has found a joy without alloy
   To gladden every morrow.

We ought to make the moments notes
   Of happy, glad Thanksgiving;
The hours and days a silent phrase
   Of music we are living.
And so the theme should swell and grow
   As weeks and months pass o’er us,
And rise sublime at this good time,
   A grand Thanksgiving chorus.

 ~

  

The simple blessings make me happy - and oh so very Thankful.

An Update or Two

I had my gallbladder yanked out yesterday.  FINALLY!  After years of having issues off and on, and then it getting worse and worse, I finally went to see the surgeon (he's pretty much become our "go-to" surgeon since doing Margie's 3 surgeries) in June, and his recommendation was "yank it - it's obviously making you miserable and you have a family history of bad gallbladders."  So when he took it out he said it was very inflamed and scarred from extended inflammation and spitting out gall stones. So I guess it is a good thing that I went ahead and had it taken out.  He assures me that I will feel like a champ now :)
The worst part of it is the CO2 gas that they pump you with so that they can see easily inside at all your organs.  Wow, that leftover air is quite painful when it settles under ribs and in shoulders and collar bones.  Made it impossible to lay down last night, and the little bit of sleep that I got was done sitting up on the coach.  Hopefully that will go away soon!

Jim (Grandpa J) was moved into a hospice facility this week.  It's tough to know he's not in his cabin with a view of the pastures and lake, but it's good to know that he's getting the needed 24/7 care and it lifts a huge weight off of Emily. We'll spend Thanksgiving in NY this year - a first for us all to be together on Thanksgiving :)

Silas made my day this week when he enthusiastically hugged me one morning and said "I love you more than a poisonous snake!!" - really the only thing better would have been if he said he loves me more than his beloved "junk food"!

We've been in the thick of Parent/Teacher conferences.  All of the kids are doing very well in school, and Ella and Silas definitely have their teachers fooled again.  "Really??  (insert Ella/Silas) punches, kicks, throttles, (his/her) (sister/brother)?  I never would have guessed based on how good and cooperative he/she is in class!"  That is when I whip out the Flip cam and show the teacher just how they behave at home!

Photos from NY

You can see some here:

11.7.2010 NY

Bittersweet

{Bit-ter-sweet} Producing or expressing a mixture of pain and pleasure.

We've spent these last 3 days in New York, visiting Jim (Grandpa J), sitting with him, talking, trying to keep him comfortable, planning the logistics for the things we wish we didn't have to plan, and trying to make the best and most of this time because we are all together so rarely.
It's very difficult to think that this might be the last time we are here to visit him. But it's almost more difficult to think that he'll be in this state much longer - unable to move and get around as he's used to doing. The immobility is driving him nuts. He's antsy.  He's never been one to just sit...unless it's with a good book.

My stomach is in knots thinking that we'll say goodbye this afternoon.  And a long drive home with not much to distract the mind (except for fighting kids).

I look at this picture and I think of the lyrics to the Pearl Jam song Just Breathe:
Yes, I understand that every life must end, 
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go,
Oh I'm a lucky man, to count on both hands
the ones I love,
Some folks just have one,
others, they've got none...  

By Pearl Jam's standards...he's a lucky man and then some...