Elijah Ryan Michael Love

Elijah Ryan Michael Love, 9, son of James and Amanda Love, has gone home to be with Jesus on September 8, 2013. He was born in Columbus, OH on December 15, 2003.

He was a 4th grader at Beacon Elementary School in Hilliard. Elijah enjoyed the outdoors. He was a child of God who loved everything that God created. He enjoyed fishing, swimming and riding his bike. Elijah was always curious about the world around him, asking questions and taking in information. His big brown eyes and beautiful smile will be forever missed by all who loved him.

Other family includes, siblings, Aliyah and Jordan, maternal grandfather, Ryan J. Casey, maternal grandmother, Lisa (Mark) Ridings, paternal grandparents, Sharon and Donald Parker, great-grandparents, Frank and Patricia Kennis, John and Patricia Casey, Bonnie Lou Bowles, uncle and aunt, Greg and Tracy Miller, cousins, Brooklyn and Jaden Miller, Casey Mers, many other aunts, uncles and cousins who he loved dearly.

Visitation will be held from 10:00am to 12:00pm, Monday, September 16, 2013 at the Potters House, 3220 Lowell Drive, Columbus, OH 43204, where a funeral service will begin at 12:00pm, following the visitation.

Burial will follow in Hampton Cemetery, West Jefferson, OH.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Love Family Fund at any Huntington Bank.

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On Saturday night, September 7th, Justin and I were coming home from my 25th class reunion.  About 2 minutes into our drive home, he told me he had gotten a call from Margie, and there had been a terrible accident involving Mandy, Jimbo and the kids...and that Elijah hadn't made it. Impossible words to comprehend - I was still feeling festive after a wonderful evening with many friends that I hadn't seen in years and years.  And while I was laughing, hugging, toasting, chatting and having fun - Mandy's family had been hit head-on...and Elijah didn't make it.  "No" and "impossible" were the only words I could manage, over and over.

And it still doesn't seem possible. Over a month later - Mandy just got out of the hospital, we've packed and moved them out of their  house, Aliyah is with Lisa, Mandy and Jimbo with friends, Jordan with his mom.

Impossible.

Community support, family and friend support - has all been tremendous.  Beacon Elementary has had fundraisers, a few of Mandy's high school friends have arranged fundraisers and the Angels for Elijah page.  Beacon had a little memorial for Elijah after their walk-a-thon.  All the kids from the school blew bubbles up to the skies.  It was beautiful and heartbreaking.

A brief video of the bubble blowing :)

We made picture boards for the funeral - and then another set so that Manda and Aliyah could both have copies of them with them.

I'm sad...so sad to think about what Mandy, Jimbo, Jordan, Aliyah, Lisa, Mark, Ryan...are all going through especially.  I'm sad to think about Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, first days of school, last days of school, birthdays, bedtime tucking in, and everything else that will make everyone's hearts ache.

A Week of Downs and Ups

Last week felt like a roller coaster ride. Monday started off with the horrible news that a longtime friend had suddenly passed away.  I had know Tim for almost 30 years, and practically everyone around Hilliard knew and adored him as well - all of us "old Hilliard" people certainly did.  Sadly, he leaves behind a wife and 10 year old son.

Kym, Tim and Cameron

One of the sweetest things was during the funeral procession - some of the homes on his mail route had signs on their mailboxes and there were a few little old ladies standing out to say a last farewell.  He was buried on their 16th wedding anniversary.

Another emotional ride was seeing my friend Jenny.  She has cancer and our Senior Choir classmates from school arranged for the current Sr. Choir members to come over and sing The Lord Bless You and Keep You to Jenny.  This was the song we sang anytime a member or alum needed prayer and support.  It was wonderful to see all the choir members and Mr. Brenneman and Mrs. Bundy came also.   The news came too and took some footage!  Please keep Jenny in your prayers!



This, coupled with other things that have made my last couple weeks very emotional, created a lot of stress.
Luckily, we had our annual couples' Hocking Hills trip planned and it was the perfect get away - lots of good food, great drinks and being able to hang and talk with the best of the best of friends.  And we actually had a beautiful, sunny weekend!

My husband picked some flowers for me, we got to go on a (kinda muddy) hike to the waterfalls - it was lovely and very theraputic.
We came home on Sunday to more great weather, a soccer game for Ella and some outside playtime.

Ella plays in the All Star soccer game this week and Friday is Si's last day of preschool!  He's on to Kindergarten next year (sniff, sniff!).

Written Word

Sometimes the written word just can't do justice for what is in your heart.  The enormity of love or loss doesn't always roll right off of the fingertips. I've been feeling that way lately.  I just can't connect the heart, the brain and the fingers in a coherent way.

Jen's and her family's babies didn't make it in this world. On April 10th she had 2 baby girls that just weren't ready to be here, though the rest of us were very ready for them to be here with us. All I can say is that our hearts ache for them as they deal with this loss.

That same written word can fail to do justice to the feelings of blessing and gratitude that you can have after something like this happens.  Friends become family and family becomes a lifeline of prayer and support because they love your friends too.

Ella art - 2007

A Quickie Update

I keep trying to find time to sit down and do a proper update but that just isn't going to happen...so I'll have to make do with some quickies updates as I can sneak some time in.

Yesterday I slogged around feeling rather bummed out.  Grandpa J's cabin has sold and the closing was yesterday afternoon. While I suppose there should be some relief that it's sold, I'm not feeling it. I just feel sad about it. I have a zillion pictures and memories of my kids running around there - feeding animals, gobbling at the turkeys, petting goats and cows. I'm sad for them, I'm sad for all of us that we won't be back there again.

I also was thinking a lot about Ella's birthday coming up and how we would normally be getting all excited for her party and a visit from the NY Youngers. It's very tough to get excited this year knowing it will be different from now on.
When we were in NY for a visit last March for spring break, I remember watching Jim as we were out at the falls.  His physical appearance had changed so drastically in the few months since we had last seen him.  The chemo and pain had really aged him. It was difficult to see him frail and in pain. I kept thinking that this is what it would be like if Justin and I were his age and he was 80. It was like catching a glimpse into a future that will never happen. 

Silas asked my dad if angels are naked in heaven (because the stone angel statue on their porch is just wearing wings ;) so he wanted to know if Grandpa was naked in heaven too. He still wants to know why Grandpa can't come back.

One a lighter note, Silas has also been rotten as heck.
Last night he bit Ella in the hand when they were playing.  Totally out of nowhere.  Left a pretty good indent and looked like he almost broke the skin.  When I asked him WHY??? he said that he was trying to talk and Ella's hand got in his way. Uh huh...
As we were getting teeth brushed before bed he was very wound up and bouncing off the walls:

me - stop acting like a maniac

Si - it's not me, it's God making me act like a maniac

me - why would God make you act like a maniac?

Si -he has a remote control and does it!

He then proceeds to try to give me a wedgie.  Strange kid.

TGIF!

And I say that with an AMEN and Hallelujah!!  I don't know that I've been this happy to see a Friday end and the weekend start in a long time.  I have been nervously waiting all week for the end of this week. I had to do a presentation tonight at OSU for one of their MBA groups of about 40+ students. Of course I started getting sick with a cold, sinus, cough, congestion thing on Tuesday and felt miserable and nervous all week.

I started having a major fear that I'd have a crazy sneezing or coughing fit and wet my pants or something. Do you stop and explain to this group why you cross your legs when you sneeze/cough/laugh too hard or do you pull the leg crossing into a 360 degree twirl and pretend it's part of your presentation? Luckily I didn't have to make that decision.  I was mostly hidden by a nice big podium.  It all went well and I'll be happy if I never have to speak in public again (very unlikely though).

I was very saddened to see that my old boss, the former director of the library when I worked there, passed away this week.  He was a very kind and funny guy, old school, liked things simple. He was also very intelligent and passionate about the library system and helping others.  He helped me make the decision between getting my Masters in Library Science or a Masters in Counseling. He wrote me a wonderful letter of recommendation to use when applying to grad schools.  It's sad to think that he's gone - he was only 61.

Larry Black, 1949-2011

This is the last weekend in February so we've got to be productive - I'm excited to see what we have accomplished in our 2nd month of the YOSP.  I feel like we continue to make great strides.  It is also a very busy weekend with social activities too.  Ella has a 7:30am soccer game (which I think is insane for a 7 year old), 2 girl scout events this weekend, I am getting together with some high school girls Saturday night, book group on Sunday, and I really need some time to rest up and get rid of this cold!!  Which means that I really should be getting to bed now!

Time for an Update - caution, a little sad

It's been quite a while since I've posted an update - part lack of motivation, part no time, part not sure how much to update.  So, I'll update briefly on what I wasn't sure I'd share (but decided that it's something that I want to look back on in context to where we are as a family and I want it here).

I found out that I was pregnant a couple days after we returned from our NY Finger Lakes trip in October.  We had a 6 week check and ultrasound on 11/16 and saw the baby bean, a strong heartbeat and all seemed to be going well.  I was feeling pregnant and sick as a dog.  Then sometime the week after Thanksgiving I noticed I wasn't feeling quite as sick.  We had a 9 week check/ultrasound scheduled for that Thursday (12/3) and as soon as I saw the baby on the screen, I could see there was no heartbeat.  If you've ever seen a baby/fetus on ultrasound, as early as 5 or 6 weeks you can see the flicking white beat of the heart. I think my doctor was just as crushed as we were (we had a miscarriage in June too and Dr. G is such a dear and she felt so positive after we saw the 6w heartbeat this time).

My body did not take care of business naturally this time, so I had "the procedure" yesterday afternoon. No complications, everything went smoothly.  I get sad when I think about the baby beaner - but overall doing well.
One of the worst parts about yesterday was having to go ALL day without any food or water (the other worst part was being taxied down the very long hallway to the operating room - I didn't care for that).  The procedure wasn't until 4pm.  By noon I was dying for food.  I was even hallucinating when they rolled me into the OR - the basket full of surgical sponges looked like big chunks of cheddar cheese (the nurses thought that was hysterical so I zonked out with them laughing at me).  Margie and I stopped and got HUGE gyros on the way home and soon after I crawled into bed for the night. I fell asleep last night with Ella snuggled by my side and that was probably the best therapy of all after such a day.

Today I feel kinda like I've been beaten with a stick but overall okay.  I've had some time to cry, to sleep, to eat! and lots of laundry to distract me when needed.  It's an odd mix of grief and profound gratitude for the blessings that we have in our life.

Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit.

- Bernard Williams