Better Week

This week has been going much better, except for the dumb Ohio weather. Sunday was 81 and beautiful.  Monday it rained a ton and was just dreary and bluck.  I worked from bed and it was actually quite cozy and productive.

And then yesterday it snowed - real snow, not just the little flurries that don't do much.
I have captioned this "The Agony of Defeat" - poor things. They are still all slumped over like they've given up for good.

Silas and I have been butting heads quite a bit for the last couple weeks.  He's been very whiny and quick to lose his temper and I've been lacking patience myself.  He's such a funny kid though.  For example, last week:
Silas: Can I have my vitamin? I've got white bumps on my arm.
Me: White bumps?
Silas: I'm not sure but it could be scurvy...
Me: ???


It's so easy to get lost in and overwhelmed by the millions things that always need to be done. Household stuff, work stuff, friends/family obligations...on and on.  I feel lucky that most often, I have the ability to step back and put things into perspective.  Clean the toilets or spend time outside with Justin and the kids on a (currently rare) sunny day.  I'll go with the latter.  And by the state of my house...I probably make that choice a bit too much!  But oh well...

At least I've got my sanity...right?!?  ??

Fraught

fraught - frôt/ - adjective
1. (of a situation or course of action) filled with or destined to result in (something undesirable).

2. causing or affected by great anxiety or stress.
"there was a fraught silence"
synonyms: anxious, worried, stressed, upset, distraught, overwrought, worked up, antsy, agitated, distressed, distracted, desperate, frantic, panic-stricken, panic-struck, panicky;

I don't know why, but the last week has been very stressful and full of anxiety for me. Making productivity very difficult, and the ability to focus a pure joke.

I don't know which comes first, the chicken (anxiety) or the egg (stress). And they become so intertwined that it doesn't much matter when they get rolling and picking up speed. It reminds me of skiing this winter and watching Silas start down the ski run and get going so fast that all he knew to do was fall, arms and legs flailing in all directions, to stop himself. I've been through this enough times now to know when I'm heading for the crash and burn. When I feel it happening I do try to remember how to slow it down without the need to throw myself to the ground causing a massive pile-up all around me.

More exercise, more yoga, more nature...
Juicing, oils, prayer, meditation...maybe it all helps, maybe not.
Maybe it just keeps me occupied until the moods pass. They always do eventually.

our maple finally started blooming last weekend.

it wasn't a sucky week all around - the CF Wine Opener was Friday

and celebrating Jen's birthday too!

The Birds and the Bees - Maybe Spring Really is Here!

The day before our recent weekend trip, I got a message from Mason saying that our foster dog, Chyna, was bleeding.  It looked like there was blood in her urine.  When I got back into town, I made a vet appointment for her because it looked like it was still going on.  She drinks SO much water.  She is 13 years old and much like Zoe was, old and creaky.  I thought she might have a UTI or bladder infection.

On Thursday, Silas and I loaded her into the van, trying to keep her sitting on the towel...not very successful.
The vet tech was super sweet (I love our vet office) and took Chyna outside for a urine sample.  I have to say, I thought getting a urine sample from a dog, in and of itself, was a feat.  This woman got the sample in a soup ladle.  THAT friends, is impressive.

The sample came back with some blood in it.  As the doctor was examining her, he asked - "is she spayed?"
"Of course she is - well, I'm pretty sure she is - hmm, I guess I actually don't know if she is."
I pull out my phone and start texting my sister and niece. "hey question for you.  is chyna fixed???"

The vet leaves to check on something else and I sat there waiting for a text back.  I'd thought that the dog had a UTI, a bladder infections, cancer and God only knows what else, but not ONCE did it cross my mind that she had her freakin' period!
And never would it occur to me that a 13 year old dog could still even have such biological happenings going on - don't dogs go into menopause??

The doctor came back into the room and said that all her counts looked good with the exception of one, which was just a tad bit low.  "If she has been spayed, give me a call and we'll check some other stuff out."
Right about that time is when I realized just how dense I can be sometimes.  I just took a female dog to the doctor because she was on her period...with an 8 year old boy in tow.

Next stop - PetSmart...

I've spent the latter part of my week chasing around a geriatric dog so that I can strap her Kotex on her and dodging the repeated questions from Silas about "why is she bleeding and wearing that diaper?"
Oh kid, I wish I knew...

Utter Randomness...

If I only had a brain

This week I've been painfully stupid.  I don't know if it's stress, lack of sleep or too much wine (or any combination of the above).  So far I've:

1.  waited for 35 minutes in the atrocious pick up line for Ella after school, only to realize right when I got to the pick up area that she had an after school program and needed picked up an hour later

2.  Looked all over the house for 2 days for the check that I wrote for preschool. I finally just decided to write another...low and behold the 1st check was still patiently waiting in the check book...

Ella lost the cat (somewhere inside the house - the cat was really just hiding from her and Silas). She decided she needed to make a sign to help find her. I found the cat...at 3am when she was sitting in the hallway outside our bedroom door meowing her fat head off.

(sorry for the blurry pic)

The new Apple iPad makes me think of a feminine hygiene product. Might as well name it iSummer's Eve or iTampon. Product Naming department: fired.

I've decided not to wish it was Friday anymore.That means I'm wishing the week away and my life is going fast enough already.  I might not LIKE Mondays as much as Fridays but they'll have to do.

I just read Anna Quindlen's A Short Guide to a Happy Life (while waiting the 35 minutes to pick up Ella. No kidding, the book is that short - the title is very fitting). I love her.  Love her writing and her view of life (see Words to Live By to the left).  Another post for another day.

I haven't mentioned much about being 40 now.  but it's there. much like the 10 pounds I think I've gained since Christmas day.  Is this how it's gonna be?

"Her thoughts now turned to the words of Washington Irving she had taped to her fridge: 'There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity'."

This is from an article about a woman named Stephanie Nielson who miraculously survived a horrible plane crash. I've read her blog for quite awhile (she was on Oprah I believe) and just recently read this beautifully written but painful to read article about her experience and recovery. It is impossible to look at anything in my life as tragic or an adversity after reading this.  All I can do is thank God and pray for her.

And finally, say a little prayer that my eyeballs don't get burned out of my skull tonight. My eyelashes have been horrible lately.  Breaking, thinning, just difficult.  I got some "natural" eye lash conditioner to put on at night.  This could be my last night with vision...

oh, and I'm now totally addicted to Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice cream.  I had it on Tuesday night and haven't stopped eating it since (thanks Sarah.)

Transcending...

I saw this on the BTeam blog - and just had to share it because it is oh, so true.
Author Kelly Corrigan wrote this moving essay about women and their remarkable capacity to support each other, to laugh together, and to endure...
*could possibly make you cry...just maybe