The Birds and the Bees - Maybe Spring Really is Here!

The day before our recent weekend trip, I got a message from Mason saying that our foster dog, Chyna, was bleeding.  It looked like there was blood in her urine.  When I got back into town, I made a vet appointment for her because it looked like it was still going on.  She drinks SO much water.  She is 13 years old and much like Zoe was, old and creaky.  I thought she might have a UTI or bladder infection.

On Thursday, Silas and I loaded her into the van, trying to keep her sitting on the towel...not very successful.
The vet tech was super sweet (I love our vet office) and took Chyna outside for a urine sample.  I have to say, I thought getting a urine sample from a dog, in and of itself, was a feat.  This woman got the sample in a soup ladle.  THAT friends, is impressive.

The sample came back with some blood in it.  As the doctor was examining her, he asked - "is she spayed?"
"Of course she is - well, I'm pretty sure she is - hmm, I guess I actually don't know if she is."
I pull out my phone and start texting my sister and niece. "hey question for you.  is chyna fixed???"

The vet leaves to check on something else and I sat there waiting for a text back.  I'd thought that the dog had a UTI, a bladder infections, cancer and God only knows what else, but not ONCE did it cross my mind that she had her freakin' period!
And never would it occur to me that a 13 year old dog could still even have such biological happenings going on - don't dogs go into menopause??

The doctor came back into the room and said that all her counts looked good with the exception of one, which was just a tad bit low.  "If she has been spayed, give me a call and we'll check some other stuff out."
Right about that time is when I realized just how dense I can be sometimes.  I just took a female dog to the doctor because she was on her period...with an 8 year old boy in tow.

Next stop - PetSmart...

I've spent the latter part of my week chasing around a geriatric dog so that I can strap her Kotex on her and dodging the repeated questions from Silas about "why is she bleeding and wearing that diaper?"
Oh kid, I wish I knew...

Did you Brush Your Teeth??

As you know, when I learn a lesson, I usually try to share it with my blog readers.  I'm generous in that way. So here's one for you:  Never go by feel alone (unless you're legally blind and have no choice).

Quick background: Late night, a couple drinks, sleeping Ella in our bed, no light on to disturb anyone.  Out of toothpaste, searching in drawer under sink.  Bingo! Travel toothpaste...

or IS it?

Lesson #1: (recap): never go by touch alone
Lesson #2: don't brush your teeth in the dark unless you can smell the mint
Lesson #3: when sh*t expires in 2006 - throw it OUT! and mix ups won't happen.

Godspeed. Carry on.

CamWow

CamWow is an iPhone app.  Thanks to Aunt Amanda getting Ella hooked on it, I now have the app on my phone. It provides hours of amusement...

I thought this one that Ella took of Zoe and Cleo was very cool. 

Me and Ella.  We really do look alike :)

Ella with a swirly face.

Ella has a rather large.eye.

Had ET and I mated and had a daughter of my coloring...

This is how channel 10tv gets those pictures of the people that they interview.

This is what I think I'd look like if my mamma and dadda had been brother and sister.

This is what I'm going to look like if I start smoking heavily, stop brushing my teeth and move into a mobile home.

That's CamWow for ya!

Teenagers

There's been a lot of this around here lately...

"Language...there are kids around..."

"Watch it, you're going to cut yourself."

"You need to go to bed. It's late."

"Can you turn that music DOWN??"

Mason needs to get OFF.MY.BACK!!

A Quickie Update

I keep trying to find time to sit down and do a proper update but that just isn't going to happen...so I'll have to make do with some quickies updates as I can sneak some time in.

Yesterday I slogged around feeling rather bummed out.  Grandpa J's cabin has sold and the closing was yesterday afternoon. While I suppose there should be some relief that it's sold, I'm not feeling it. I just feel sad about it. I have a zillion pictures and memories of my kids running around there - feeding animals, gobbling at the turkeys, petting goats and cows. I'm sad for them, I'm sad for all of us that we won't be back there again.

I also was thinking a lot about Ella's birthday coming up and how we would normally be getting all excited for her party and a visit from the NY Youngers. It's very tough to get excited this year knowing it will be different from now on.
When we were in NY for a visit last March for spring break, I remember watching Jim as we were out at the falls.  His physical appearance had changed so drastically in the few months since we had last seen him.  The chemo and pain had really aged him. It was difficult to see him frail and in pain. I kept thinking that this is what it would be like if Justin and I were his age and he was 80. It was like catching a glimpse into a future that will never happen. 

Silas asked my dad if angels are naked in heaven (because the stone angel statue on their porch is just wearing wings ;) so he wanted to know if Grandpa was naked in heaven too. He still wants to know why Grandpa can't come back.

One a lighter note, Silas has also been rotten as heck.
Last night he bit Ella in the hand when they were playing.  Totally out of nowhere.  Left a pretty good indent and looked like he almost broke the skin.  When I asked him WHY??? he said that he was trying to talk and Ella's hand got in his way. Uh huh...
As we were getting teeth brushed before bed he was very wound up and bouncing off the walls:

me - stop acting like a maniac

Si - it's not me, it's God making me act like a maniac

me - why would God make you act like a maniac?

Si -he has a remote control and does it!

He then proceeds to try to give me a wedgie.  Strange kid.

Fancy Dance

Silas has been very into dancing lately. He is always asking me to turn on the "fast dance music" on the iPod. He then dances like a maniac - I'm sure it has nothing to do with the umpteen pounds of Valentine's day candy he's ingested over the last week.

Last night he was jumping around holding himself.

Me - Silas, do you have to go potty?

Si - Nah, that is just part of my dance moves.

Alrighty then...

Fa La La La La

We are busy little Christmas bees around here.  Sometime over the last week, the Christmas tree lost its top strand of lights...at first a few lights went out and then by mid-week, the whole top strand was gone.  Justin was content to let it be but it bummed me out every time I would look at the tree.  So yesterday we took everything off the top half of the tree, pulled off the old lights, put on new lights, got covered in tree sap and then put everything back on.  In the process, we discovered that the tree was not very sturdy in the stand.  Justin tried to tightened it up but it kept leaning like crazy...enter fishing line tied to the curtain hook and curio drawer knob.  Voila - a perfectly straight, fully lit Christmas tree!

We have an official name for Mr. Elf.  The kids really, really want to call him Buddy.  So Buddy is his nickname.  I've named him Felix Navidad because I think that is much more clever than Buddy.  So I call him Felix, they call him Buddy.  This Elf thing is a lot of work!  I woke up to 5 post-it notes worth of questions the first night he was with us, and 3 the next night. "Can I bring you someplace on Christmas Day?  Just this one time?  Pleas pleas pleas" "How do you get down when I can't reech you?" Felix/Buddy didn't  answer the 2nd round very promptly so she added "Y did you not write back on my notes??"

I bet Felix/Buddy at no clue he was getting into such a high maintenance situation when he came a-knockin'.

We had some additional name suggestions from an "anonymous" source:

Snitch, Quisling, Willard - Famous Movie Rat, Ben ( Sequel to Willard), Elfis, Finkus (Fink on Us), Squealer,  Weasel.  I do think Squealer is kinda festive.

We also made some Christmas cookies yesterday.  The kids iced and decorated some for Santa and I made some very yummy chocolate crinkle cookies...while we watched Elf (as you can see from the TV!).

We wish that we could be with ALL the family at Christmas - but we'll be thinking about you all - near and far - and wishing you a blessed and magical Merry Christmas!

An Insight or Two

#1 - I am not a runner.  I ran today at the Y.  And just to make things clear; I ran and no one was chasing me with a machete. It makes me hurt. My knees, my hips.  But Justin and I are going to participate in the Warrior Dash in June and worse than the pain of my knees and hips hurting, would be the humiliation of falling on my face and being carried off the course by Justin or some other macho men.  So run and get into shape I must.

#2 - We are supreme packrats.  I started my day by spending 1.5 hours in Ella's room.  I made a small dent in the mess.  I bagged up clothes, toys, garbage (broken and missing part toys) and I am one of those people that has to push myself with each item not to say "well, we might need this if Mercury crosses Mars on the 10th day of the 8th month at 2:32 AM. Then what will we do?!".  After Ella's room I spent another 1.5 hours in the basement trying to make some headway with the 93 bags of kids clothes that we have down there.  All in all, I made good progress and it feels good to purge!!

 #3 - It takes me double the time to get "gussied up" now that I am in my 40s. Not sure if it's that my face really requires more work, or I just care more about how I look when it's time to make the effort.  Or maybe it's really just the fact that I usually lock myself in my room with a glass of wine when it's time to get ready to go out, which makes it more enticing to take longer...

 #4 - My husband can play the part of empathic when he needs to. I never let Justin forget that he once scored a (big fat ZERO) in Empathy on a personality test that he took in college.  ZIP.  NADA. NOTHING.  Today in all the cleaning, I about cut my finger off in the basement.  Even though that is something that he does at least twice a week on a job, he very kindly got a band-aid and wrapped it around my finger, cutting off the circulation and turning my finger purple.  But the blood stopped and he fed me an Advil and I felt better.  I think he should have scored at least a 2 on that test.

Crazy Kids

Me: what are you doing? 

Silas: Dancing to the music in my head. 

Me: what music in your head? 

Silas: Brass Monkey, that funky monkey.

 ____

Ella had a school citizenship project.  This was her final project (to give examples of how to be a good citizen.)

 

Patriotic is my favorite :)  It looks like we've got our work cut out for us in the spelling department!  

Obituary and Goldfish

James B. Juenger

Dr. James B. Juenger, 60, passed away on November 30, 2010 after a one-year battle with cancer. Born on July 15, 1950 to the late Iva and Herbert Juenger of Cornwall, NY, Dr. Juenger graduated from Cornell University and Logan Chiropractic College (St. Louis, MO). He opened Cayuga Chiropractic Offices in 1978 in Trumansburg where his office staff and many loyal patients became part of his local family over the past 32 years. James is survived by children, Shawn (Abby), Justin (Christa), Amanda, Emily Bennett (William) and Brian; brothers, Jerry and Jeffrey (Wendy); niece, Kirstie; and nine grandchildren (Mason, Trent, Ella, Molly, Myles, Silas, William, James and Hudson) who will all miss him so much. The family will be present to receive friends from 1:00 to 4:00 p.m. on Sunday, December 5, 2010, at the American Legion Post 770, 4431 Seneca Road, Trumansburg. A Memorial Service will be held at 2:00 p.m. at the American Legion on Sunday, December 5. In lieu of flowers, kindly consider a donation in James' memory to Hospicare of Tompkins County, 172 East King Road, Ithaca, NY 14850 or to the Trumansburg Food Pantry, PO Box 162, Trumansburg, NY 14886. For additional information, kindly contact the funeral home at 1-888-534-5446 or www.ness-sibley.com.
#

Even though the last year sapped Jim of his energy, his hair, his strength and that booming voice - I always picture him in my mind like he looks above. Strong and lively, fun and hardworking.  He would come out for a visit and go like a workhorse all day long, especially when we built our first house and had SOOO many projects.   I see us sitting on the deck, reading a book or the newspaper; or enjoying one of our many impromptu beer or wine tastings. Or him tucked into a comfy corner, sipping a glass of wine or Bailey's and reading, reading, reading.

Silas came downstairs crying last night after we tucked him into bed.  I asked him what was wrong.  He said, "I miss Grandpa so much."  It broke my heart.  The worst of this for me is that they won't have their Grandpa J, and that he won't get to be there for all those special times. 

I told Silas, "well, maybe it will help us feel better if we think that we have a special angel in heaven now". 

"Grandpa's an angel now?" he asked. 

"Maybe, I guess if he wants to be."

"No, Grandpa would want to be a goldfish!"

That made me laugh - yes, Grandpa wouldn't want to be a regular old angel - he would definitely go with something more unconventional!  If nothing else, he's the angel wearing the Hawaiian shirt and blinding orange Crocs!

An Update or Two

I had my gallbladder yanked out yesterday.  FINALLY!  After years of having issues off and on, and then it getting worse and worse, I finally went to see the surgeon (he's pretty much become our "go-to" surgeon since doing Margie's 3 surgeries) in June, and his recommendation was "yank it - it's obviously making you miserable and you have a family history of bad gallbladders."  So when he took it out he said it was very inflamed and scarred from extended inflammation and spitting out gall stones. So I guess it is a good thing that I went ahead and had it taken out.  He assures me that I will feel like a champ now :)
The worst part of it is the CO2 gas that they pump you with so that they can see easily inside at all your organs.  Wow, that leftover air is quite painful when it settles under ribs and in shoulders and collar bones.  Made it impossible to lay down last night, and the little bit of sleep that I got was done sitting up on the coach.  Hopefully that will go away soon!

Jim (Grandpa J) was moved into a hospice facility this week.  It's tough to know he's not in his cabin with a view of the pastures and lake, but it's good to know that he's getting the needed 24/7 care and it lifts a huge weight off of Emily. We'll spend Thanksgiving in NY this year - a first for us all to be together on Thanksgiving :)

Silas made my day this week when he enthusiastically hugged me one morning and said "I love you more than a poisonous snake!!" - really the only thing better would have been if he said he loves me more than his beloved "junk food"!

We've been in the thick of Parent/Teacher conferences.  All of the kids are doing very well in school, and Ella and Silas definitely have their teachers fooled again.  "Really??  (insert Ella/Silas) punches, kicks, throttles, (his/her) (sister/brother)?  I never would have guessed based on how good and cooperative he/she is in class!"  That is when I whip out the Flip cam and show the teacher just how they behave at home!

Ha Ha, Funny Man...

Justin lost his wedding band.  Probably at the commercial job he did at the end of last week.  I asked him tonight when we should break down and buy him a new one....
"after I break up with my girlfriend" he says.

He's lucky I am not a violent person. Wait, I am a violent person...he's lucky I'm too tired to raise my arms to throw something at him!

More Silas

We're all in the van together, and admiring the new patches on Ella's Girl Scout vest.
"What's your Troop number Ella?"
Silas innocently pipes in - "666"
Justin and I cracked up - if the shoe fits...


A recent Facebook post::
I love how Si's story changes when Ella yells that "Silas hit me!" - it quickly goes from "No I didn't, no I didn't" to "I did it gently!!

He's been in trouble constantly lately, but cracking us up when he's not driving us over the edge!

Soccer Silas Style

I have so many pictures to upload and stuff to update when I get some time but as I was reviewing pictures from today's soccer games, I thought these were funny.
We played the team of one of Si's friends today (Carson) so I was trying to get some shots of him (in the front white shirt). I didn't notice Silas' face in the background until I was uploading :)

And a closer look at his face...

Look at his arms here - he's lucky he doesn't punch himself in the face when he runs!

And how is his back arm/hand up that high??

Definitely gotta give him an A for effort and for keeping himself amused out there on the field!

Not Impressed

It's pretty bad when you can't even impress a 4 year old with your exercise abilities...

Silas:  Mama, what are you doing?
Me: Trying to do sit-ups
Silas: Well....you're a little bad at it.
(Oh yeah??)...
Me (between gasps for breath):  Hey Si, did you know that Santa is taking some time off and there won't be a Chrismas this year?

My Sweet Girl

Look at this sweet baby girl.  2nd grade.  Hard to believe.

Yesterday her daddy got the pleasure of waking her up...

Justin (in his soft Daddy voice):  Ella - wake up sweetie. Guess what time it is?
Sweet little Ella:  Time for you to get out and let me go back to sleep!

We're converting to Catholicism before her teen years so that we can keep Holy Water on tap.

It's a Glamourous Life - Yes it is!

I lead a glamorous life - don't let the flip flops and pony tail fool you.  I am an accomplished professional and I work hard (some days). I am a V.I.P. I have many very important meetings and calls.  Many of those via conference calls with more VIPs.  And I'm fortunate to get to do most of this from my home.  It's the best of both worlds - RIGHT? Today was a day though that I cursed this arrangement.

I was on a conference call with the other VIPs and we were talking about (obviously) VITs (very important things).  I am talking to the VIPs and giving my updates on all the VITs that I had accomplished over the last week (like trying to get my head out of the sand after vacation).   I hear a tiny little voice saying "I'm done mommy!"  No problem. I have wiped butts while on these VICs (very important calls) before. I can still be professional and wipe behinds at the same time.

I poke my head in the bathroom, hold my finger up to Silas and say "just a minute" and I finish up with my update. About 30 seconds later I hear hysterical yelling coming from the bathroom. Luckily I had muted the phone after I finished talking (God bless the inventor of the MUTE button!). I run in to find Silas sitting on the potty but pointing in yelling "my TOY! my TOY has fallen into the potty!!!!".

Sure enough, I look in and see one Diego Baby Jaguar sunk in the toilet...among the poo. I semi-freak out - this is NOT in the VIP job description! - give Silas one heck of an evil eye and double check the mute button before screaming at him as to WHY does he have a toy in the bathroom?!  and how he's not going to be able to sit down to potty again for a month after I spank his (post-wiped) behind!!

I'm still trying to listen in on this call because there are a lot of questions flying around and I know I'll be asked something. I'm also faced with this dilemma of wiping or not wiping, because if I wipe, I have to put the paper in the toilet on top of the toy, and if I don't...well, that's gross.

The other dilemma is how to get the damn toy out of the poopy potty.  I'm sure as heck not sticking my hand in there. Putting a spoon or other utensil in there is disgusting. I've already threatened to flush it, which sent Silas into hysterics again and I know would send Justin into hysterics too if he had to snake the toilet to unclog it.
All the while as I'm assessing the situation, I'm also un-muting the phone to answer questions, re-muting to do the quiet screaming and finger pointing at Silas.

I end up with the only thing that I can think of at the moment: chopsticks.  I get the chopsticks from the kitchen drawer and fish away in the poopy toilet to save baby Jaguar.  I'm not very good with chopsticks under normal, non-disgusting circumstances - so imagine...

At some point while I'm washing and rewashing my hands, I realize that the mute is no longer on...somewhere along the way I forgot to reMUTE and have no idea how much "poop" "spanking your BEHIND" "how could you do this to me?" or gagging the VIPs heard while on our VIC.


In the end, Mommy saved baby Jaguar from the sewers, the hardwood floors from overflowing poop water and Silas got his behind wiped (I think) and didn't lose his beloved toy.

And at least I don't have to dress up and wear heels to work!

Questions of the Week

Ella asks (in all sincerity):  Mama, were you alive when dinosaurs were here?
Me: No, I missed them by a couple of years.
Ella: So mam-ma and pap-pa were here?

"Mom, mom, mommy, ma, mom, mom, ma, ma, mommy, mommy..."
Si asks:  Mama, what was your name before it was Mommy?   

Mason asks: What's for dinner? When's dinner gonna be ready?  Is dinner ready yet?  Can I have a snack?

Timing is Everything

I was going through some of the pictures and saw this one.

I should have been a bit quicker in snapping my picture...

The second before I took the picture, Ella exclaimed that she had to go to the bathroom - and then smiled, business as usual...

A Sampling of...Stuff

From none other than Silas James:

Mama, how does God make ear wax?  and where does God even live?

*

Does God make cat butts?

Me: probably

Si: does he touch them?

*

Will I die if I don't eat my vegetables?

*
Is Michael Jackson dead?  Is he a Zombie?
*
____________________________
And a few comments:

Mom, Ella is lying through her teeth gaps!
*

Si: every day I dream about weird stuff

Me: what kind of weird stuff?

Si: eating healthy stuff like milk and I get fat. I don't know how to change that.

Me: what do you want to dream about?

Si:Scooby Doo movies.

_____________________________

And a text between Ella and her daddy (on the way home from a fun day)

ella - I haded so so so so so so so much fun!

jp - Awesome! I'm so so so so so so so so glad that you did! Lyg

ella - I am so happy you respondid

jp - always

ella-  ok

_______________________________

the other morning I was rather startled when I looked out my kitchen window and saw a duck standing on my deck. 

He hung out for a bit and then decided our place was pretty boring. and loud.

______________________

Silas got a bike this year.  It became too pain for me to watch him bang his knees on the tricycle handlebars any longer.

  

I should have gotten the next size up but it'll do for this year.  He loves it and maybe we can try it without the training wheels...

And happily, it's tree climbing season again.

And this picture makes me smile...Ella's class is taking a trip around the world.  Their first stop is France.  This is a picture of her teacher/flight attendant giving out the in-flight snack.  I love that she adores her teacher!

(no wonder her teacher thinks she is such a sweetie pie!)